Is it true that a righteous man does not marry anyone other than a righteous woman?

 

 

Is it true that a righteous man does not marry anyone other than a righteous woman?

ar - en - ur

I have herd from brothers that one gets a parteners (ie wife for men and husband for women)


which one deserves,.If one is good he/she will get a pios partener unless it is a test from ALLAH.


Unfortunattely i have not come across any hadith on this subject and could you please give me references and advice on this topic so that i can advice the brothere and sisters


I Have also been told that if a man does zina it will result in him being punishede by some female member of his family doing zina. Is this true ?


Many young muslims go about looking for a partener in the haram way .should i tell them that if they are pios they will definnalely get someones who is equally pios unless they are being tested by ALLAH?


because if this is true it may deter many a muslim from commiting haram and it may even make them more entuisianstic about becoming beter muslims.

 

Praise be to Allaah.
 

 

What you have heard, that a man marries the person he
deserves and who is similar to him in terms of righteousness or immorality
is not correct. This is indicated by the following: 

1 – The story that Allaah tells us of two of His noble
Prophets, namely Nooh and Loot (peace be upon them), whose wives were
disbelievers. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Allaah sets forth an example for those who disbelieve: the
wife of Nooh (Noah) and the wife of Loot (Lot). They were under two of our
righteous slaves, but they both betrayed them (their husbands by rejecting
their doctrine). So they [Nooh (Noah) and Loot (Lot)] availed them (their
respective wives) not against Allaah and it was said: ‘Enter the Fire along
with those who enter!’”

[al-Tahreem 66:10] 

2 – Islam does not allow an adulterer to marry a chaste
woman, and it does not allow a chaste man to marry an adulteress. This
indicates that such a thing could happen, and indeed it happens often. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress —
fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries
her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the
man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female
polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either
an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And
the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik
(polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is
either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or
idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic
Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3] 

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said that a woman may be married for her wealth, her beauty, her
lineage or her religious commitment, and the fact that he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying the one who is
religiously-committed indicates that marriages could occur for other
reasons, so a man might marry a woman who is not like him.  

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Woman are married for
four things: for their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their
religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously-committed, may your
hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466). 

4 – The fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) commanded guardians to marry the women under their care
to religiously-committed men indicates that something other than that could
happen. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there
comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are
pleased, then marry (your daughter or other female relative under your care)
to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation in the land and
much corruption.” 

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as
saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1022. 

So the one who is looking for a wife should look for one who
is religiously-committed and has a good character; similarly, woman’s
guardians should not marry them to anyone but those who are
religiously-committed. For a man is influenced by those with whom he keeps
company, especially if that lasts for a long time. The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his
close friend, so let each of you look at whom he takes as a close friend.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Tirmidhi, 1937). 

“A man will follow the way of his close friend” i.e., he will
follow the habits and path of his friends; “So let each of you look” means,
think long and hard about; “whom he takes as a close friend” means, whom he
regards as a friend and a brother. So if you like a person’s religious
commitment and character, take him as a close friend, and if not, then avoid
him. For characteristics are easily copied and keeping company with people
has an effect on whether you will be good or bad. Al-Ghazaali said: Sitting
with and mixing with one whose interest is worldly gain will make you also
seek worldly gains; sitting with and mixing with one who is an ascetic will
make you care little for worldly gains, because following characteristics
are easily copied and one could copy the characteristics of one's friend
without even realizing. 

From Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi. 

Secondly: 

With regard to the adulterer, he may be punished with regard
to his family. A hadeeth to that effect was narrated, but it is mawdoo’
(fabricated), however the meaning may be correct. We have mentioned it, with
comment, in question no.
22769. 

And Allaah knows best.

 

If a woman stipulates that her husband should not have intercourse with her

If a woman stipulates that her husband should not have intercourse with her

ar - en

My fiancée has some negative ideas about intimacy between a man and his wife, and she thinks that it is not right. She has stipulated that I should not touch her after the marriage contract is done. She is insisting on that to such an extent that if I refuse her request she will not agree to marry me. She is a very religious girl.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for a Muslim to forbid himself anything
that Allaah has permitted to him. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):  

“O you who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibaat (all
that is good as regards foods, things, deeds, beliefs, persons) which Allaah
has made lawful to you, and transgress not. Verily, Allaah does not like the
transgressors”

[al-Maa’idah 5:87] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “There is no monasticism in Islam.” This was quoted by al-Albaani
in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah, 4/387. 

Regarding intimacy between spouses as something that is not
right and that is negative is a weird view. How can it be so when Allaah has
permitted it to His slaves and the best of mankind enjoyed it, namely the
Prophets and Messengers? Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad
صلى الله عليه وسلم), and made for them
wives and offspring”

[al-Ra’d 13:38]. 

Moreover, if people were to adopt this strange opinion, how
would mankind continue to exist on earth? How could the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) feel proud before the other Prophets on
the Day of Resurrection because of his nation being the greatest in number?
It is for this reason that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) encouraged us to marry women who bear many children. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your
great numbers.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2050). 

Secondly: 

If a woman or her guardian stipulates that (the husband)
should not have intercourse with her at all, or that he may have intercourse
with her only once, this condition is invalid, because it goes against the
aims of marriage. The aims of marriage are intimacy, maintaining chastity
and producing children. 

Should the marriage be regarded valid but this invalid
condition be cancelled? Or is the marriage invalid from the outset? There is
a difference of opinion among the fuqaha’.  

The Maalikis and Shaafa’is think that the marriage contract
is invalid in that case, whereas the Hanafis and Hanbalis think that the
marriage contract should be regarded as valid but this condition should be
cancelled. 

It says in Mughni al-Muhtaaj (4/377), which is a
Shaafa’i book: If a condition goes against the aim of marriage, such as a
stipulation that the husband should not have intercourse with her at all, or
that he should have intercourse with her only once a year or only at night
or only during the day, or that he should divorce her even if that is after
having intercourse, then the marriage is invalid because that goes against
the purpose of the marriage contract, so it renders it invalid. End quote. 

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (7/72), which is a
Hanbali book: What invalidates the condition although the marriage contract
is still valid, such as if he stipulates that she should have no mahr
(dowry), or she stipulates that he should not have intercourse with her, or
that he should withdraw from her (‘azl). These are conditions which are
invalid in and of themselves, because they go against the purpose of
marriage. But the marriage contract itself is still valid. 

If she stipulates that he should not have intercourse, it may
be that the contract is invalid, because this is a condition that goes
against the purpose of marriage. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i. End
quote. 

See also: Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen (3/131); Fataawa
‘Aleesh al-Maaliki (1/333); Haashiyat al-Dasooqi (2/237). 

Based on that, it is not permissible for you to agree to this
condition, and it is not permissible for the woman to stipulate it, because
it is an invalid condition that goes against the purpose of marriage. What
she must do is repent to Allaah and beware of speaking about Allaah with no
knowledge. 

It should also be noted that the fiancé is a stranger
(non-mahram) to his fiancée so it is not permissible for him to speak to her
unless there is a need. She is like any other non-mahram woman. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her father engaged her to him, then her father died and her paternal uncles want to change the agreement

 

Her father engaged her to him, then her father died and her paternal uncles want to change the agreement

ar - en - ur

I am a 29 years old man. About two years and half ago I proposed to my work colleague. I agreed with her father about everything and we became engaged, by the will of Allah. During this period of time we had few arguments. I had a very good relationship with her father until he died last January, may Allah have mercy on him. Since the death of her father, my fiancée’s uncles have interfered in everything, and they tried to change the agreement I had with her farther. Eventually one of her uncles returned what I have bought of gold for my fiancée to me to end the engagement. Although my fiancée and I still want to continue. Some wise brothers interfered to solve this problem and both families were happy to maintain the relationship. But her uncles are stipulating illogical conditions to complete the marriage, in opposition with my previous deal with my fiancée’s father. What is the ruling of Islam on this situation? Is it permissible for her uncles to alter the stipulations of the agreement with her father? What is the solution for this stubbornness?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Before answering your
question, it is essential to draw your attention to the fact that working in
mixed workplaces with men and women together is not permissible, and it is
one of the doors that lead to corruption, as its effects on society are
obvious. 

We have mentioned the
evidence for the prohibition on mixing in question no.
1200. 

The one who is faced with
the problem of working in a mixed environment – if he cannot leave that job
– must avoid looking at women and being alone with them and talking to them
about things that do not have to do with work. 

Among the negative
consequences of haraam mixing is what happens between men and non-mahram
women whom they call “work colleagues”, such as haraam looking, talking and
correspondence, and in many cases it leads to haraam relationships. 

Secondly: 

With regard to your
question, it seems from your question that you did not do the marriage
contract with this woman. Based on that, you are still a “stranger”
(non-mahram) to her so it is not permissible for you to be alone with her or
to talk to her too much, until the marriage contract is done between you.
The marriage contract with a woman is not valid unless it is done in the
presence of her wali (guardian). As her father has died, guardianship passes
to her paternal grandfather. If there is no paternal grandfather, then it
passes to one of her brothers. If she has no brother then guardianship
passes to her paternal uncles. The wali does not have the right to prevent
marriage without an acceptable shar’i reason. If he does prevent her, then
guardianship passes from him to the next closest relative, then to the
sharee’ah judge or one who is acting in his stead. It should also be noted
that the maternal uncles cannot be walis of the woman. 

See the order of
guardianship in the answer to question no.
2127. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the woman likes a man and
he is compatible with her, then her guardian, such as her brother then
paternal uncles, must marry her to him. If they prevent her from getting
married, then the next closest wali should give her in marriage, or the
ruler, without (the wali’s) permission, according to scholarly consensus.
The wali does not have the right to force her to marry someone she does not
like, or to prevent her from marrying someone she does like if he is
compatible, according to scholarly consensus. It is only people of ignorance
and wrongdoing who force women into marriage or prevent them from marrying,
who give their female relatives in marriage to people whom they choose for
their own purposes, not the woman’s interests, and force them or embarrass
them into doing that, and prevent them from marrying those they want out of
enmity towards them or to serve some purpose. All of these are acts of
Jaahiliyyah (ignorance), oppression and enmity, and are forbidden by Allaah
and His Messenger. The Muslims are unanimously agreed that they are haraam.
Allaah has enjoined women’s guardians to look at the woman’s interests, not
their own whims and desires, like all other guardians and deputies who act
on behalf of others. Their aim should be the interests of the one on whose
behalf they are acting, not their own whims and desires. This comes under
the heading of the trust (amaanah) that Allaah has commanded should be
fulfilled, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):  “Verily, Allaah
commands that you should render back the trusts to those, to whom they are
due; and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice” [al-Nisa’
4:58]. This is also part of sincerity that is required. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Religion is sincerity
(naseehah)” three times. It was asked, “To whom, O Messenger of Allaah?” He
said, “To Allaah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the leaders of the
Muslims and to their common folk.” 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa
(32/52, 53) 

But we advise you not to
marry her without the agreement of her family; it is essential to gain their
approval and win them over, so that you will not be a cause of breaking of
family ties that may never be healed after that.

And Allaah knows best.

Her father refused to marry her to someone so the judge did the marriage for her

Her father refused to marry her to someone so the judge did the marriage for her

ar - en - ur - id

My father is Muslim. He has wrong thoughts about Islam, such as his situation of hejab and mixing. He says: “will a person be judged if good or bad by his religiousness?” He says also that none can implement all the commands of Allah, even the prophet (PBUH) himself could not, meaning the issue of polygamy. My sister has rejected Islam and became Christian, and my father did not object to this, he even sees her as better than me. My mother is Christian as well. 


A noble but disabled man has proposed to me and I accepted him. But my father refused him because he is disabled and from a simpler standard of living than ours. We are rich family. 


After I completed my study at university, my family planned to cut my relationship with the good friends of mine, they planned to change my life gradually. So I left home and planned for marriage. Two months later I got married to the Muslim man in a shar’ee court. 


The question: is my marriage islamically valid? What should my situation towards my family be? Shall I continue boycotting the relationship with them?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

We
praise Allaah for having enabled you to adhere to the path of guidance and
righteousness and we ask Him, may He be glorified and exalted, to grant you
more of His bounty. 

Secondly: 

The woman should endeavour to marry one who is religiously committed and of
good character, who can protect her and take care of her, and enable and
help her to practise her religion, as well as help her to raise righteous
children in accordance with the principles and morals of Islam. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there
comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then
marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do
not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1084) from Au Hurayrah; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Thirdly: 

Marriage is not valid except with a wali (guardian), and a woman has no
right to marry herself, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali.” Narrated by
Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Maajah (1881) from Abu Moosa
al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

 And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman
who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is
invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid… and if there is
any dispute, then the ruler is the wali of the one who has no wali.”
Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed
as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709. 

But if the wali refuses to marry the female relative under his care to a
compatible man with whom she is pleased, then he is preventing her from
getting married and guardianship passes from him to the next closest male
relative on the father’s side. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: What is meant by
preventing her marriage is preventing her from marrying a compatible man if
she asks for that and each of them wants to marry the other… 

And whether she asked to get married for a mahr (dowry) like that of her
peers or less. This is the view of al-Shaafa’i, Abu Yoosuf and Muhammad. 

If
she wants to marry a specific compatible man, and he wants her to marry some
other compatible man, and refuses to marry her to the one whom she wants,
then he is preventing her marriage. 

But if she asks to marry someone who is not compatible, then he has the
right to refuse that and he is not regarded as preventing her marriage. End
quote from al-Mughni (9/383). 

Because guardians usually prevent marriage in such cases, there is nothing
wrong with the woman referring the matter to the shar’i judge, who may then
ask the guardians to do her marriage. If they refuse then he may do her
marriage himself. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said, as in the hadeeth quoted above: “and if there is any dispute,
then the ruler is the wali of the one who has no wali.”

Based on this, your marriage contract is valid and it is not permissible to
annull it, because the shar’i judge became your wali after your father
refused to arrange your marriage. 

Fourthly: 

You have to honour your parents and treat them kindly, and uphold ties of
kinship with them even if it is only by speaking to them on the phone, until
they calm down and you are able to  visit them, for parents’ rights are
great. Hence the duty to honour them is mentioned repeatedly in the Qur’aan,
as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his
parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything
(as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me
is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:8] 

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his
parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and
hardship, and his weaning is in two years __ give thanks to Me and to your
parents. Unto Me is the final destination.

15. But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in
worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them
not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him
who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”

[Luqmaan 31:14, 15] 

You have no right to cut them off, rather you must strive to calm them down
and put their minds at rest, and soften their hearts with money and gifts to
earn their love, and ask Allaah to guide your family. 

May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

Should she agree to be a second wife or be patient?

 

Should she agree to be a second wife or be patient?

ar - en

I am a divorced woman in the 40’s. I am from a good family and of a decent status in life. I have learnt from my previous experiment a difficult lesson, because it was not a choice based on Islam and morals, it was based on appearances.

 
A man proposed to me recently. I think he is moral and religious and known as righteous, but he is married and his wife is a family friend of my family. As for social status, he is from a simpler background than ours. I fear how the society will see this marriage. I also fear his wife’s look to me. All this in the stage of proposal and asking my brother for my hand, how about if this marriage takes place! I am from Egypt, and you know how the Egyptian society sees the second wife.  


When I pray istikharah I feel comfortable and I feel like telling my brother to accept. But I become strained when I think of the society and people wondering why I had to accept who is of simpler social status than me, and how could I take a man from his wife and children. He did not propose to me due to greed, it is just his wish to help Muslim women in difficulties especially if known of being religious. He is also advising others to do the same thing in order to protect Muslim women’s chastity, and then the whole society’s virtuousness. My brother also witnesses this. He could have easily proposed to who is younger and more beautiful than me if he wanted.  


Will I be sinful if I decline his proposal? What is your opinion sheikh? Shall I refuse and be patient, so that someone else may propose to me by the grace of Allah?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly the way in which many Muslim societies (including
Egyptian society) view plural marriage is as a betrayal of the first wife,
or as something for which the husband or second wife are to be blamed.
Undoubtedly this is a mistaken view that is contrary to the law of Allaah,
which permits a man to marry up to four wives. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): 

“…then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three,
or four …”

[al-Nisa’4:3] 

The Muslim cannot object to the rulings of Allaah, or think
that there is any injustice, transgression or error in the rulings of
Allaah. 

Hence we do not agree with you when you say: “How can I take
the husband from his wife and children?”  

You are not taking this husband away; rather he has come and
proposed to you of his own free will. 

Moreover he is going to bear the burden of two families and
two households at the same time; he is not going to leave his first wife and
children for your sake, so how can that be taking him away? 

As for the opinion of the first wife, this is part of the
human nature which is inherent in most women (jealousy), and she wants to
keep her husband for herself and not share him with anyone. The Mothers of
the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with them) who were the best women of
this ummah, had some problems because of jealousy, but the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forgave them and did not hold it
against them. 

You can remedy that with a little wisdom and good attitude.
But it is also essential to put up with some of that which may come from her
because this is the nature of women. 

The husband must also be wise in his dealing with such
attitudes so that he will not make the disputes and conflicts worse. 

With regard to our advice to you, whether to accept this
husband or wait in the hope that Allaah might provide you with someone
else: 

The answer is that if you hope that there may come someone
who is better than him, then there is no reason why you should not refuse
him, but if you are afraid – as you are older – and because of your
situation that there will not be anyone else who is better than him, or even
like him, then we think – and Allaah knows best – that you should agree to
this marriage. 

For a woman to agree to be a second wife and to put up with
some problems from the first wife or the society around her, is much easier
than staying without a husband. 

We ask Allaah to make good easy for you wherever it is. 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on getting married and divorced on paper in order to have residency in a kaafir country

Ruling on getting married and divorced on paper in order to have residency in a kaafir country

ar - en - ur

What is your opinion about a person who falsely divorces his wife, i.e. formally having the divorce contract, without saying the word of talaaq actually to her? This enables him to marry a European woman in order to get a residency. Then he will divorce the European woman and return his first wife to him afterwards. What is the ruling on this matter?.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Marriage is a serious covenant and it is one of the most
important rulings of sharee’ah, by means of which intimacy becomes
permissible and rights such as the mahr (dowry) and inheritance are proven,
and children are attributed to their father, and other rulings. 

By means of divorce, a woman becomes haraam for her husband
and is deprived of inheritance, and she becomes permissible for other men to
marry, subject to well known conditions. Our aim in explaining all this is
to alert the Muslims to the necessity of not using these two contracts in
ways other than that which has been prescribed by Allaah, and not using them
as tricks. We have seen – unfortunately – men who will marry a woman not so
that the intimacy with her which was forbidden becomes permissible, and not
so as to form a family with her – as is the aim of the shar’i contract – but
so as to attain some worldly purpose, such as registering land, or getting a
licence to open a business, or to get residency, or to enable the woman to
travel outside her country. In none of this cases is the man a husband or
the woman a wife in the real sense, rather he is a husband on paper only! It
is not more than ink on paper. This is a kind of toying with the rulings of
sharee’ah. It is not permissible to do it or to take part in it, and it is
essential to try to stop it when the aim is to achieve some haraam purpose,
such as the one who does that in order to get residency in a non-Muslim
country. 

The same may be said with regard to divorce. It is a shar’i
ruling and it is not permissible for anyone to take it lightly or to toy
with its rulings. They call that a divorce on paper. 

These people should all realize that they are sinning by
doing this. Allaah has not prescribed marriage and divorce so that the wife
might be a name on the contract with no rulings and rights. They should
realize that the rulings come into effect merely by virtue of the contract
being done, if the conditions and essential parts of it are fulfilled, and
that if any of these are missing it is invalid, and that divorce from the
husband takes place if the words are merely uttered. There is no such thing
in sharee’ah as marriage on paper and divorce on paper. The sin is further
compounded if it is done in order to do something that is haraam in the
first place, such as one who uses it to avoid giving people their rights or
paying debts to them, or if a woman uses it to get help given to divorcees
by a state or institution, or so that she can live in a non-Muslim state
where it is not permissible for her to reside, and other invalid, haraam
aims. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: 

The Lawgiver forbids treating the Verses (Laws) of Allaah as
a jest (al-Baqarah 2:231) and forbids a man to speak of the Verses of Allaah
which are binding contracts except in a serious manner as they are meant to
be. Hence it is forbidden to take them lightly and or to marry a divorced
woman in order to divorce her so that it will be permissible for her to go
back to her first husband. This is indicated by the verse in which He says
(interpretation of the meaning): “And treat not the Verses (Laws) of
Allaah as a jest” [al-Baqarah 2:231], and by the words of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “What is the matter with
people who toy with the sacred limits of Allaah and make a mockery of His
verses (laws), (and say), I divorce you, I take you back, I divorce you, I
take you back?” It should be understood that toying with them is haraam. End
quote. 

Al-Fataawa al-Kubra (6/65). 

Based on this: 

If a man marries a woman who is permissible for him, and it
is done in accordance with the conditions prescribed in sharee’ah, with the
essential parts being fulfilled and in the absence of any impediments, then
it is a valid marriage with all that that implies. 

If a man divorces his wife verbally, it counts as a divorce,
even if he does not intend it as such. 

As for a written divorce that is not uttered out loud, that
is subject to further discussion as explained in the answer to question no.
72291. 

Secondly: 

Marrying that European woman for the purpose of obtaining
residency and then divorcing her is a haraam action. We have quoted the
fatwa of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz prohibiting such actions in the
answer to question no. 2886. This applies if he marries her without
fulfilling the conditions of marriage, such as if he marries her without a
guardian, or if there is any impediment to the validity of the marriage,
such as if she is a zaaniyah who has not repented, or she is not one of the
people of the Book (i.e., Jewish or Christian), in which case marriage to
her is haraam and is invalid. 

If he marries her in a marriage that fulfils all the
necessary parts and  conditions, and is free of any impediments, then his
marriage is valid with all that that implies, but his intention is
forbidden.  

Thirdly: 

These reprehensible actions of obtaining a divorce paper for
the first wife and marrying another woman for the purpose of obtaining
residency, then divorcing her, include two other things that are haraam: 

1 – Trickery, lying and giving false witness, because it is
deceiving the state and tricking it in order to obtain nationality, which is
haraam. 

2 – He wants to do the divorce and marriage on paper in order
to get residency in a kaafir country, but in our religion it is forbidden to
settle among the kuffaar unnecessarily, because of the great danger that
this poses to one’s religious commitment and morals, and to the individual
and the family. 

It was narrated from Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “I disavow any Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood (2645) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

This has also been discussed in the answer to question no.
27211. 

What we advise our brothers to do is to fear Allaah, may He
be exalted, with regard to shar’i contracts and not to use them as means to
worldly ends, and to refrain altogether if the purposes are haraam. They
should fear Allaah with regard to their wives and children, and think about
the great hardship that their actions may lead to, or the deprivation of
rights and other negative consequences that may result from doing these
contracts in this corrupt manner.  

And Allaah knows best.

The meaning of “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”; and is it possible to find a wife who is righteous both outwardly and inwardly?

The meaning of “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”; and is it possible to find a wife who is righteous both outwardly and inwardly?

ar - en

I wrote this message after I read an essay. In its end a situation was mentioned: Al-laalkaa’e narrated that when a man mentioned A’yesha, may Allah be pleased with her, in a bad manner in Al-hasan ben zaid’s presence, he ordered to kill this man by sword. The Alwiyyoun said: he is one of our group. So Al-hasan said: “we seek refuge with Allah from this, this man slandered the prophet, peace be upon him. Allah Almighty says (interpretation of the meaning): “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision”

 
So if A’yesha may Allah be pleased with her is a bad woman then the prophet, peace be upon him is also bad. Thus, this man is infidel; kill him by sword, so they killed him.  

 
What is the explanation of this verse “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision”

 
I had a personal experiment myself; I married a girl who I though is religious, my aim was to establish a righteous Muslim home in which I try my best to follow the approach of our honourable prophet, peace be upon him, and his companions. In brief, I did not ask about her very well before marriage, I found her to be very vile. May Allah forgive her and me. Most of her talk was lies and tricks. I did not feel she has any passion for Islam or for righteousness. I divorced her after I knew she is not going to change herself, we have one child.


I love Islam too much and I love anyone I feel he is religious, and I have strong hatred to those who are immoral especially if they insist on sinning or announce their sins.

 
My marriage and divorce experiment was the bitterest I had in my life. I now fear I repeat the bitter experience again. I wish to find who will help me be more religious. How can I be assured while people are content to show opposite of who they really are? Especially when it comes to such matters as marriage.

 
Before I married that woman I prayed istikhara many times and consulted Allah, I was sometimes crying and asking Allah to guide me, especially when I see bad signs from her side or from her family that indicates they are not religious people.

 
I am not trying to say it is not my fault, or to show myself as the better one in this relationship. By I love Islam, by Allah, and am very jealous for Islam, and I hate lying strongly. Briefly, I do not think it is in my hands to get the right one even if I ask very well and collect information about the girl or try to test her personality before marriage. Unless if Allah has mercy on me and blesses me with giving me a righteous wife.  


Marriage nowadays became very difficult. I, by Allah, think it is of the most difficult matters, and the most difficult part of it is finding a moral and religious wife. I think it is impossible unless Allah permits. When I read or hear the mentioned verse, I feel very sad; does it mean that I chose my previous wife because I deserve this? I know it is a test from Allah, but I want to have a clear explanation of the verse and, if possible, the rest of my queries.

 

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The
mufassireen differed concerning the meaning of the verse (interpretation of
the meaning):  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”

[al-Noor
24:26] 

Some of them
said that it refers to bad and good words, so the meaning of the verse is:
Evil words are for evil men, and evil people are for evil words, and good
words are for good people, and good people are for good words. 

Others said
that it refers to evil and good actions. So the meaning of the verse is:
Evil actions are for evil men, and evil people are for evil actions, and
good actions are for good people, and good people are for good actions. 

The third
opinion concerning this verse is that evil and good refer to people with
regard to marriage. So the meaning of the verse is: evil women are for evil
men, and evil men are for evil women, and good women are for good men, and
good men are for good women. 

There is no
reason why the verse cannot be understood in all these senses, although the
most obvious meaning is the first one mentioned, and this is the opinion of
the majority of mufassireen. The second view comes next. 

Shaykh ‘Abd
al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women)”
means all evil men, women, words and actions that are fit for evil and in
accordance with it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it, and all good
men, women, words and actions that are fit for good and in accordance with
it or accompanied by it and in harmony with it. This explanation is general
in meaning and nothing is excluded from that. One of the greatest
application of this is that with regard to the Prophets – especially the
Messengers of strong will, and especially their leader, Muhammad (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who is the best among all the good of
creation – only the best of women are suitable for them. So the one who
slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) in this manner is
slandering the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
which was the aim of the slander (al-ifk) fabricated by the
hypocrites. The mere fact that she was the wife of the Messenger (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) confirms that she was nothing but good
and pure and innocent of these reprehensible matters. 

So how about
when she is the siddeeqah of women, the best, most knowledgeable and purest
of them, the beloved of the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds? Revelation
did not come down to him when he was under the same cover as any of his
wives except her. Then the verse states clearly, so that there will be no
opportunity for any propagator of falsehood to say anything and no room for
any doubt whatsoever:  

“such (good
people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say”

[al-Noor
24:26] 

The reference
is primarily to ‘Aa’ishah, and then to the believing chaste women. 

“for
them is forgiveness” [al-Noor 24:26]

meaning,
forgiveness for all of their sins. 

“and
Rizqun Kareem (generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”
i.e., in Paradise, coming from the Generous Lord. 

Tafseer
al-Sa’di
(p. 563). 

Secondly: 

What you have
quoted about the killing of a man who slandered ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) is true. This is what the Muslim rulers should do, which
is to execute everyone who slanders ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with
her), because impugning the honour of ‘Aa’ishah is disbelief in the Qur’aan,
and impugning the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Either of these actions implies kufr which puts a person beyond the pale of
Islam, and the one who does it deserves to be executed for apostasy. 

In
al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/185) it says: 

The fuqaha’
are unanimously agreed that the one who slanders ‘Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) has disbelieved the clear, unambiguous statement of the
Qur’aan that was revealed concerning her, and hence he is a kaafir. Allaah
says – in the hadeeth of the slander (al-ifk), after Allaah declared that
she was innocent – “Allaah forbids you from it and warns you not to
repeat the like of it forever, if you are believers” [al-Noor 24:18]. So
the one who goes back to that is not a believer. 

Are all the
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
regarded as being like her? 

The Hanafis
and the Hanbalis, according to the correct opinion, which was favoured by
Ibn Taymiyah, say that they are all like her. They quoted as evidence the
verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Bad
statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for
bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good
people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or
good men for good women): such (good people) are innocent of (every) bad
statement which they say; for them is forgiveness, and Rizqun Kareem
(generous provision, i.e. Paradise)”

[ al-Noor
24:26] 

Slandering
them implies slander of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) and impugning his honour, which is forbidden. 

The other
view, which is that of the Shaafa’is and the other view of the Hanbalis, is
that they – apart from ‘Aa’ishah – are like the rest of the Sahaabah; the
one who reviles them is to be flogged, because he is a slanderer. End
quote. 

Shaykh
Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

Slandering
‘Aa’ishah with regard to that of which Allaah has declared her innocent is
kufr, because it is disbelieving the Qur’aan. With regard to slandering
other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
there are two scholarly opinions, the sounder of which is that it is kufr,
because it is a slander against the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him), because “Bad statements are for bad people (or bad
women for bad men).”  

Majmoo’
Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen
(5/p.86) 

See also the
answer to question no. 954. 

Thirdly:

It was
narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married
for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their
religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your
hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
5090; Muslim, 1466. 

It is not
impossible for a man to find a righteous wife who will help him to obey
Allaah, serve him, raise his children, and look after his wealth and house.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised men to
marry the woman who is religiously committed. If it were not possible or
within a man’s capability to find that religiously committed woman, the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would not have
advised him to marry her. He is the one who said in the same hadeeth that
some men marry women for their beauty, and some marry them for their lineage
or their wealth. Men choose women according to their own desires and
traditions and customs, but his advice to all men is to look for the woman
who is religiously committed and marry them, because in marrying such a
woman there is a great deal of good which the man will see in himself, his
house and his children. 

You should not
give up hope of finding a woman who is religiously committed and of good
character. The Muslim ummah is still doing well and there are still Muslim
families which are raising women who are of good character and committed to
Islam, and are brought up in this manner. 

The failure of
one experience of marriage does not mean that the same will happen to all
subsequent marriages. What happened to you may have been a punishment to you
because of your shortcomings in asking and finding out about the woman whom
you married. 

People know
one another and mix with one another, so the state of a family and its
members will not be hidden from their relatives and neighbours. The members
of the family mix with people in the mosque and school and when visiting
people, so a righteous woman will be known and distinguished from the
opposite, and the religiously committed man will be known and distinguished
from his opposite, by their adhering to regular prayer, and adherence to
outward shar’i laws, and their attitude in dealing with others. What one of
them hides inwardly is something that no one can know, and the one who is
deceived by outward righteousness when a person is inwardly corrupt is not
to be blamed, because our Lord does not require us to look at what is hidden
inside people. 

Moreover, what
is applicable to the women among whom you are looking for a life partner is
also applicable to you. How do people know who you really are, or what you
are like inwardly? Guardians have been advised to give their female
relatives in marriage to men who are religiously committed and of good
character, based on what they can see, as well as asking and finding out
from the relatives of the suitor. Whatever wrong impressions and deceit may
happen on the part of the woman may also happen – and more so – on the part
of the man. So you should not be anxious or worry because of your first
marriage. All you have to do now is look carefully, and ask good people
about good families who raise their daughters to obey Allaah and with good
morals and attitudes. Then you can focus your questions about the one whom
you want to marry from those families, by asking her friends and classmates
about her commitment and righteousness, and about her attitude and
interactions with others. Thus you will have followed the advice of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and we hope that
you will not be disappointed by her and that they will not be disappointed
by you. 

We ask Allaah
to help you to make a good choice and to bless you with a righteous wife who
will keep you chaste and you will keep her chaste, and you will treat her
well and she will treat you well, and to bless you with good and righteous 
children. 

For more
information on the qualities to be sought in the wife, please see the
answers to questions no. 26744 and
10376. 

And Allaah is
the Source of strength.