Saturday 28 January 2012

Her parents are refusing to have an Islamic celebration; what should she do?

What is the ruling on an Islamic celebration if the parents do not agree? Do I have the right to object to them or should I agree to what they say and give it up?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

What is meant by an Islamic celebration is a party that is held in accordance with Islamic guidelines, so that it is free of the evils of mixing and women showing their adornments in front of men, and using music and immoral singing, and other things that Allaah has forbidden. These haraam things, unfortunately, are widespread in many Muslim celebrations nowadays, except for those on whom Allaah has mercy. What is prescribed with regard to wedding parties is to bring joy and happiness to both bride and groom and their families and those who come to congratulate them in ways that do not incur the wrath of Allaah, such as using the duff (a kind of hand drum) among women, and their singing for one another using words that carry beneficial meanings and are free of sin. Al-Bukhaari (5163) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that she presented a woman as a bride to an Ansaari man, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her: “O ‘Aa’ishah, did not have any entertainment? For the Ansaar are fond of entertainment.” 

Ibn Majaah (1900) narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘Aa’ishah arranged a marriage for a female relative of hers among the Ansaar, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said, “Have you taken the girl [to her husband’s house]?” They said, Yes. He said, “Have you sent someone with her to sing?” She said, No. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “The Ansaar are people with romantic feelings. Why don’t you send someone with her to say, ‘We have come to you, we have come to you, may Allaah bless you and us’?” This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1995). 

Al-Nasaa’i (3369) and Ibn Majaah (1896) narrated that Muhammad ibn Haatib said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What differentiates between haraam and halaal is (beating) the daff and raising the voices (in song) at the time of marriage.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

Wedding parties in Islam are parties which combine bringing of joy and happiness to those present with modesty, dignity and avoidance of haraam things. 

Women should celebrate the wedding separately from men, and do what is appropriate to them to bring happiness to the wife and the people around her, such as providing entertainment, telling jokes and singing to the accompaniment of the duff, and eating and drinking, and doing other things that may vary according to customs and traditions, so long as it is within the circle of permissibility. 

The same applies to the men; they should gather in a separate place and exchange congratulations, and pray for blessing for the couple. It is Sunnah for the husband to offer food to be eaten by those present, without any extravagance. 

The aim behind wedding parties is to announce the marriage and to make it distinct from haraam relationships, and to bring happiness to the couple, their families and friends, whilst attaining true submission to Allaah in all of that. 

Secondly: 

If the parents refuse to adhere to shar’i rulings in the wedding party and they insist on including some evils, such as allowing mixing or wanton display (tabarruj), or bringing a female singer or dancer to perform in front of men, then you have to advise them, and explain the shar’i ruling on such evils, and remind them that marriage is a blessing from Allaah for which they should give thanks, and gratitude is to be shown by obedience, not disobedience, and the marriage that begins with sin is unlikely to be blessed. If they respond, then praise be to Allaah, but if they persist in their view, then keep away from the place of evil [?] and announce your dislike and disavowal of it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allaah will collect the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell”

[al-Nisa’ 4:140] 

al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This indicates that it is obligatory to avoid people who commit sin if they do any evil action openly, because the one who does not avoid them is approving of their action. Allaah says “certainly in that case you would be like them”, so everyone who sits in a gathering where sin is committed and does not denounce it will share an equal burden of sin with them. 

He should denounce them if they speak of sin or do it; if he is not able to denounce them then he should leave them so that he will not be one of the people mentioned in this verse. End quote. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart (by hating it and feeling it is wrong), and that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim (49).  

For more information please see the answers to questions no. 11446 and 7577. 

You do not have to agree to the evil, or give up your stance of adhering to the rulings of sharee’ah in weddings and otherwise, in order to be among the victors who are blessed in this world and in the Hereafter.  

We ask Allaah to guide you. 

And Allaah knows best.

Shar’i implications of husband’s zina with his wife’s mother before and after marriage

There is a woman who is married, and her husband committed zina several times with her mother, but this wife does not know. What should she do with her mother and her husband? She is confused about her situation.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

It is not permissible for anyone to claim that someone else has committed zina unless that is proven in the way dictated by sharee’ah, such as a confession of the zaani, or the testimony of four men of good character who witnessed the act of zina. The one who claims that someone committed zina with no proof has committed slander, which is a major sin for which a person deserves eighty lashes; this is the hadd punishment for slander. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever. They indeed are the Faasiqoon (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).

5. Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous deeds; (for such) verily, Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Noor 24:4-5] 

Secondly: 

If the questioner has proof of what is mentioned in the question, that the husband committed the sin of zina with his wife’s mother, then it should be noted that they both deserve the punishment and wrath of Allaah, and they deserve to be punished in this world. As the woman is married, she deserves to be stoned to death. If he was married then he deserves the same, and if he committed zina before he was married, then the punishment is one hundred lashes. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.”

[al-Noor 24:2] 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: A Muslim man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was in the mosque and called out to him, saying: O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed zina. He turned away from him, so he came around to face him and said to him: O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed zina. He turned away from him, until he had repeated that four times. When he had testified against himself four times, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called him and said: “Are you insane?” He said: No. He said: “Are you married?” He said: Yes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Take him and stone him.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6439) and Muslim (1691). 

“Married” refers to one who has previously been married and consummated the marriage, even if divorce took place after that or the husband or wife died. 

Imam Ahmad said – according to one report narrated from him – concerning the one who does that: He is to be executed whatever the case, i.e., the one who commits zina with one of his mahrams is to be executed, whether he was married or not, and whether the mahram was a mahram through blood ties, marriage or breastfeeding. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: This is also the view of Jaabir ibn Zayd, Ishaaq, Abu Ayyoob and Ibn Abi Khaythamah. End quote. Al-Mughni (12/341). 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the evil deed was done with a mahram, this is the worst of evil deeds, and the one who did that is to be executed in all cases, according to Imam Ahmad and others. 

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen p. 374. 

Does the fact that he committed zina with her mother mean that it is haraam for him to marry her daughter, or that the marriage should be annulled? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning that. The most correct view is that it does not make the marriage haraam and the marriage should not be annulled. 

The ruling on this matter has been stated and explained in detail in the answer to question no. 78597. 

Thirdly: 

What the wife must do now is: 

1.     Not act or make any decision about this matter unless she has definitive proof.

2.     Advise her mother – if the accusation of zina is proven – that it is essential to repent sincerely.

3.     Advise her husband to repent sincerely if he committed zina with her mother after she got married. It is essential to keep him away from her mother in living arrangements and meetings so that this deed will not be repeated. If he does not repent from this action then she should hasten to get divorced, and it is not permissible for her to stay with him, because Allaah has forbidden marriage of a zaani to a chaste believing woman. 

We understand what a severe calamity has befallen this sister. How great is a woman’s grief, and difficult it is for her to bear it if her husband commits zina, and it is a thousand and one times more difficult to bear it when her mother commits zina, so how about if it is her husband who is committing zina with her mother? This is indeed a calamity! 

We ask Allaah to relieve her distress and take away her sorrow, and to bless her with patience and wisdom. 

But before making any major decision, we advise her to think long and hard about the consequences. 

If she decides to leave her husband, then in that case can she live in the same house as her mother, who is the one who did that and wrecked her marriage? 

We think, if she has no suitable place to go and no mahram who can take care of her, that staying with her husband and advising him to repent and mend his ways is easier for her than getting divorced and living in her mother’s house. 

This sister should weigh up the consequences of her decision. Some evils are easier to bear than others. 

And Allaah knows best.

Taking out a loan in order to get married

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with taking out a loan in order to get married to keep oneself chaste, if he is able to pay it off. It is hoped that if a person does that, Allaah will help him. Al-Tirmidhi (1655), al-Nasaa’i (3120) and Ibn Maajah (2518) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three who are all entitled to Allaah’s help: the one who fights for the sake of Allaah; the mukaatab who wants to pay (the price of his freedom); and the one who gets married seeking chastity.” This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes people’s wealth intending to pay it back, Allaah will enable him to pay it back, and whoever takes it intending to destroy it, Allaah will destroy him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2387).  

But if he is not able to pay it back, then it is makrooh for him to take a loan, whether that is for marriage or for anything else, because the responsibility of debt is so great that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that the martyr will be forgiven for everything except debt. Narrated by Muslim (1886). 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:33] 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who could not afford to get married to fast, as was narrated by al-Bukhaari (1905) and Muslim (1400). He did not tell them to take out loans. 

May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her husband cannot produce children and he is addicted to haraam things

I have been married for 8 months and after getting married I found out that my husband cannot have children and he is often sick due to varicose veins in the calves. Of course this affects him with regard to intimacy with me, but he tries to put the blame on me all the time. He rebukes me and blames me for his shortcoming, although I am not like that, praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds. 
The point is that my problem is great indeed. About a month ago I found out that he commits sin (zina) in the chat rooms, and it is even worse than that, since I found out that he is like the people of Loot (i.e., homosexual). What should I do? Please note that whenever I speak about any subjects he says that I am wrong, he is the only one who is right, and my words and thinking are wrong. I hope that you will answer me. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

If the husband is sterile and cannot have children then it is the woman’s right to demand an annulment of the marriage, because of this defect in the husband, as she has the right to have a child, and in fact that is one of the greatest aims of marriage. If it is not possible to have the marriage annulled then she may ask for a divorce and in that case he has to divorce her and give her her rights in full, like the delayed portion of the dowry, etc. 

Secondly: 

This husband’s rights over you are that you should advise him sincerely first of all. In the answer to question no. 7669 you will find information on how to advise him. 

Thirdly: 

If he does not respond to the advice, and he persists in the haraam things that he is doing, then there is nothing good for you in remaining with this husband, because he is not giving you your rights, and because he does this evil deed. 

Now you are at the beginning of your marriage, and it is fortunate that you do not have a child from him. So hasten to seek a divorce, and if he refuses, then separate from him by means of khula’. May Allaah compensate you with someone better than him, and bless you with a righteous husband and righteous offspring who will bring you joy. 

And Allaah knows best.

Is it sufficient to tell his fiancée of a fault or must he tell her family too?

I am 25 years old and my sperm count is low; it is between 1-5% lower than the norm. 
The doctors think that it would be difficult for my wife to get pregnant as a result, and it may be possible to use artificial means but the chances of success are also low. 
Now I want to propose marriage to a girl, and I have told her frankly about everything, and she has agreed and says that everything is in the hands of Allaah. 
My question is: It is essential to tell her family about this matter or not?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the girl has agreed to get married, even though she knows about what you have mentioned about the lack of fertility and the possibility of not having children, and she is an adult of sound mind, then this is sufficient and it does not depend on her guardian knowing about it, because the right is hers. 

The fuqaha’ have stated that if the husband or wife comes to know of a fault that may be grounds for annulment of the marriage, at the time of the marriage contract or afterwards, and accepts it, then the right to annul the marriage is waived. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him)said: One of the conditions of this right to choose in the event of such faults being present is that he should not have known of them at the time the marriage contract was done and he should not have accepted them afterwards. If he knew of them at the time when the marriage contract was done or came to know of them afterwards and accepted them, then he does not have the option (of annulling the marriage). We do not know of any difference concerning that. End quote from al-Mughni (7/142). 

In al-Mudawwanah (2/144) it says: I said: What do you think if she marries a man whose penis is cut off or who is a eunuch and she is aware of that? He said: She does not have the option (of annulling the marriage). Maalik said likewise.  He said: Maalik said: If she marries a eunuch and she did not know about that, she has the option (of annulling) when she finds out. The view of Maalik is that if she knew (beforehand) then she does not have that option. End quote. 

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/111): If one of the spouses who has no fault knows of a fault in the other at the time of the marriage contract, he or she does not have the option (of annulling the marriage), or if he or she came to know of the fault after the marriage contract but accepted it, he or she does not have the option (of annulling the marriage). It says in al-Mubdi’: And there is no difference of opinion that we know of. End quote. 

Al-Sarkhasi al-Hanafi said: If she marries one of these [i.e., a man whose penis has been cut off, or a eunuch or an impotent man] and she knows his situation, then she does not have the option (of annulling the marriage), because she approved of it when she went ahead with the marriage contract although she knew his situation. And if she accepted it after the marriage contract by saying, I accept it, then the option is waived in her case. End quote from al-Mabsoot (5/104). 

See also: al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fihqyyah (29/69). 

It is well known that low fertility is far less serious than these faults that have been mentioned by the scholars. 

The apparent meaning of the scholars’ words in this matter is that it is sufficient for the woman to know of the fault, and it is not essential to tell her family.  

The issue of having children is not something that you should worry about. How many men have been told what you were told, then Allaah blessed them with offspring. The matter is up to Him, may He be glorified, and bounty is in His hand. You should apply whatever measures you can by seeking medical treatment, and ask Allaah of His bounty. 

We should also point out that the fiancée is a stranger (non-mahram) to her fiancé and it is not permissible for him to be alone with her or to touch her, so any discussion about the marriage should be with her wali (guardian). 

And Allaah knows best.

Monday 23 January 2012

Husband’s parents preventing the wife from visiting her own family

Do the inlaws have the right to not send their daughter-in-law to her parents so that she can spend her time with her parents & all & can relax for some time in her parent's home.

Praise be to Allaah.  

What the wife is obliged to do is to obey her husband; he is the one whom she is obliged to obey. If the husband agrees that she may visit her family, it does not matter if his parents do not approve. 

But a woman should strive to please her husband’s parents and treat them in a manner that is better, and not confront them. This will have a great effect on giving stability to her life with her husband. 

You should understand that your husband’s parents may make things difficult for you because they think that you have taken away the one who is most dear to them. So you should handle this matter wisely and not be the cause of arguments or division between your husband and his parents. Rather you should try to help your husband obey and honour his parents, and you will find the effects of that, in sha Allah, in your own children [i.e., they will honour you in turn]. 

You have to treat them kindly, because kindness is never to be found in a thing but it beautifies it, and it is never lacking in a thing but it makes it ugly. If you see that they are treating you badly, then remember the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”

[Fussilat 41:34] 

For more information see al-Mughni, 7/225 

And Allaah knows best.

Her husband is not satisfying her sexual desire

I know that I am supposed to go to him when he calls me to his room, even if I'm not in the apropriate mood. I also know that lying is a despicable thing, but pleasing my husband is utmost on my mind. So is it wrong of me to fake having a sexual climax with my husband? This is a terrible problem for me, because I don't want to lie, but it embarasses my husband if he cannot fulfill my pleasure. This pretending is hard to stop, and also extremely embarassing for me to admit to my husband. Please help me, and also remember me in your du'ahs.

Praise be to Allaah.  

We ask Allaah to reward you with good for your patience and for fulfilling your husband’s desires in obedience to the command of your Lord. 

The solution to the problem you mention is by speaking frankly. That does not mean embarrassing your husband or accusing him of being inconsiderate. This problem often stems from the fact that the husband is not aware that there is a problem at all, not from the fact that he is inconsiderate. The husband may go ahead and have intercourse and not pay attention to some things that he should be doing, one of which is fulfilling his wife’s needs. Perhaps you could benefit by reading some books on the topic which explain the basis of the relationship and intimacy between a man and a woman such as Tuhfat al-‘Aroos by Mahmood Mahdi Istanbuli. 

The point is that there is nothing wrong with speaking to your husband about this matter, and suggesting that he read about it. Speaking frankly is preferable to suffering in this manner, and the problem can be solved easily. 

This does not excuse the woman from sharing some of the responsibility. She also has things that she must do, such as adorning herself for her husband, being loving towards him and encouraging him to be intimate with her.  

We ask Allaah to set the Muslims’ affairs straight. 

And Allaah knows best.

Ruling on tying the tubes unnecessarily

I am a 36 year old woman with 6 kids and i am now with my 7th child and would like to know if it is permissible in Islam to tie my tubes when this baby is born? i don't want to cut and burn them i want to place a band around the tubes to avoid the egg from dropping all the way down. i know i cannot stop the will of Allah i just want to try to loose weight i weigh more that 250 lbs. everytime i try to loose weight i end up pregnant.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is not permissible to prevent pregnancy except in cases of necessity where competent doctors have stated that giving birth will cause the mother to become exhausted or ill, or will make her sickness worse, or there is the fear that pregnancy or childbirth will most likely cause the mother to die. In that case it is essential to have the husband’s agreement and consent to prevent or end pregnancy. When this reason is no longer a factor, then the woman should go back to not using contraception. 

Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/977 

Because losing weight does not reach the degree of necessity mentioned above, it does not come under the same ruling, especially since this operation to tie the tubes requires the female doctor to uncover and touch the ‘awrah. It is even worse if the doctor is male, so this is another reason not to allow it. 

But you have to follow the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to food. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few morsels to keep him alive. But if he must (fill it), then one-third for his food, one-third for his drink and one-third for air.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, al-Zuhd, 2303; classed as saheeh in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 1939) 

You should also follow the permissible means (of preventing pregnancy), such as withdrawal during intercourse (‘azl). The correct scholarly view is that there is nothing wrong with ‘azl even if there is no reason for it, because of the hadeeth of Jaabir: “We used to practise ‘azl at the time when the Qur’aan was being revealed.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4808).

And Allaah knows best.

 Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/658

 Perhaps what Allaah has decreed for you of children will be better for you than you think, and they will be a blessing that is stored up for you, especially in old age.

She has gone off him and doesn’t want to have any intimacy with him in bed

I love my wife, but she has said that she doesn't love me. She does not want to have intercource with me. Earlier in our marraige we performed oral sex. Her position now that it is najas (impure), therefore she is turned of completely sexually. We have agreed that to fulfill my needs, I should marry another wife. But my job cut my salary considerably. I am afraid of angering Allah by divorcing her. Could I marry a woman who would waive some of my financial responsibilities until I am able to equally provide for both?

Praise be to Allaah.  

You should know that it is not permissible for you to force your wife to do anything repulsive or that may cause impurity (najaasah) to enter the stomach, and you should have intercourse with her in a natural manner. Your wife should know that it is not permissible for her to forsake her husband’s bed when he calls her to do something that is permitted in Islam and to fulfil one of his rights, which is to enjoy her in the manner that Allaah has permitted. It is not permissible for a wife to refuse to share her husband’s bed without a legitimate shar’i excuse, such as when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. A stern warning is issued to the wife who refuses to share her husband’s bed, and there are many ahaadeeth concerning that. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning comes.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’ al-Khalq, 2998) 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman spends the night having forsaken her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until she goes back.’” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4795) 

And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no one who would be pleased with her.’” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Nikaah, 2595). 

It was narrated that Talq ibn ‘Ali said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to him, then let her respond, even if she is at the oven (baking bread).’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1080, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, no. 927, in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi). 

If a woman consistently refuses to spend the night with her husband in his bed, then she forfeits her rights to maintenance and also her share of her husband’s time [in the case of a plural marriage], because maintenance is a right given in return for intimacy. Such a woman is considered to be naashiz (defiant, rebellious, disobedient). Al-Bahooti said: Nushooz (defiance, rebellion) means when a wife does not let her husband be intimate with her or she responds to him unwillingly as if she finds it too much when he calls her, and she only responds reluctantly. 

(Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat by al-Bahooti, vol. 3, p. 55) 

If a woman is defiant, then she no longer has the right to maintenance, because maintenance is in return for allowing her husband to have intercourse with her. 

Nushooz means a wife disobeying her husband with regard to her obligations towards him. Allaah has stated what the husband is permitted to do in the case of his wife’s being disobedient. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”[al-Nisa’ 4:34] 

The fuqaha’ said: If she persists in her disobedience after he has admonished her and refused to share her bed, i.e., not slept with her as long as she persists in that, and not spoken to her for three days, because Allaah says, ‘refuse to share their beds’ – if she persists even though he has refused to share her bed and not spoken to her for three days, then he may hit her, but not hard. 

In this case, it is permissible for him to divorce her. Al-Mardaawi said: divorce is permissible when necessary because of the woman’s bad attitude and bad behaviour, or because of harm caused to him by her actions. So divorce is permissible in this case, and there is no scholarly dispute on this point. 

(al-Insaaf, vol. 8, p. 430) 

But if she has gone off you in a way that cannot be remedied, and she dislikes you so much, then in this case divorce is recommended, because staying married in this case is harmful to the wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be no harming or reciprocating harm.” 

See al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 305. 

You will not be considered a sinner if you divorce her in this case.  With regard to the solution of your financial problems, it is permissible for you to marry a woman who agrees to support herself, or who agrees to let you off some of your financial responsibilities towards her, just as it is permissible for you to agree with your first wife to stay married whilst forgoing some of her rights. It is permissible for a wife to forego some of her rights to a share of her husband’s time and maintenance so that he will keep her and so that she may stay married to him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better” [al-Nisa’ 4:128] 

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “This refers to a woman who is married to a man and he wants to divorce her, so she says, ‘Keep me and do not divorce me, and you are freed any obligation to spend on me or give me a share of your time…’” 

al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 296 

Because maintenance is one of the wife’s rights, so when they reach an agreement that she will forgo her rights or some of her rights, then that is up to her. On this basis then if the woman whom you want to marry agrees to forgo maintenance, that is permissible. And Allaah knows best.

The husband’s responsibility to educate his wife

If a muslim man has taken a muslim wife, and not fulfilled his obligations set forth by allah and the quran.
As a result the muslim women leaves the deen, and now doesn't cover and maybe not even practicing islam anymore.
My question is, what are the consciquences of their actions?

Praise be to Allaah.  

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”[al-Tahreem 66:6] 

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ameer (ruler) who governs the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the members of his household and is responsible for them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them. A slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7138; Muslim, 1829) 

From these two texts it is quite clear that a man is responsible for his family with regard to teaching them and making sure that they follow Islam, and he should use forceful measures when necessary and when that is the only way to serve this purpose. Allaah will call every shepherd to account for whatever was under his care, so whoever neglects his wife and children in this regard is undoubtedly taking a great risk. Indeed, there is a stern warning issued to such people which makes the flesh crawl. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari (7151) and Saheeh Muslim (142), in Kitaab al-Imaarah, it is narrated that Ma’fil ibn Yasaar al-Muzni (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah () peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no slave to whom Allaah has entrusted the care of people, and he dies neglecting his flock, but Allaah will forbid Paradise to him.” 

So a man’s responsibility towards his wife is great indeed and he must fear Allaah and do the best he can to fulfil it, whilst always making du’aa’ for himself and his family, that they may be guided and granted strength. 

As far as the wife is concerned, she is also accountable and is responsible for her own actions, because the obligations of sharee’ah apply to both men and women, except in cases where Islam differentiates between them in some rulings, such as when it says that it is better for a woman to pray in her own home than in the mosque, in order to protect her from mixing with men. Hence it is narrated in Sunan al-Tirmidhi (113) and elsewhere that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are the twin halves of men”. This was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1/35. 

In the hadeeth quoted above it states that the woman is also a shepherd and is responsible for her flock. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Every person is a pledge for that which he has earned”

[al-Toor 52:21] 

“And everyone of them will come to Him alone on the Day of Resurrection (without any helper, or protector or defender)”

[Maryam 19:95] 

So responsibility is an individual matter, and each person will be brought to account on his own. So when a young man grows up, if he goes astray because of his parents’ bad upbringing and the message of Islam reached him, then he will have no excuse, because Allaah gave him the power of reason and therefore he is accountable, even though his father will be accountable for falling short in supervising his child’s Islamic upbringing, and he (the father) is even more accountable with regard to his wife.  So the wife must fear her Lord and give thanks to Allaah for His blessings for having given her the blessing of Islam, unlike the kuffaar. She should do her duty towards Allaah by doing that which is obligatory and refraining from forbidden things. She should know that death may come suddenly and that after death there will be the reckoning and questioning, and after that there will be either Paradise and eternal delight that will never end, or Hell with fire that could melt firmly rooted mountains and huge rocks, so what about our weak bodies? We ask Allaah to save us from it. 

With regard to you, my dear brother, you have to repent sincerely. No matter how great one’s sin, if a person repents and meets all the conditions of repentance, Allaah will accept his repentance. Then start to teach and guide your wife, using a gradual approach and kindness, accompanied by wisdom, asking Allaah to help you and give you strength. See also Question No. 10680 for more information on this topic. 

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Insinuating thoughts (waswaas) of divorce

Salamu Alaikum:
My question pertains to divorce in Islam.
I have been married for a year and early on in my marriage I had strong and constant thoughts about divorce. The divorce thoughts consisted of my repeating "I divorce you" on many occasions in my head. I have NEVER repeated these things out loud and they were only thoughts in my head.
I no longer want to divorce my wife and would like to stay with her. Is it possible for divorce to be valid just by repeating the thought in your head? Is it haram for us to stay together?
Please respond as soon as possible as this has been haunting me for the past year.

Praise be to Allaah.

In cases like this, the divorce is not valid, for two reasons:

It is only in your mind, and has never been expressed either verbally or in writing.

The divorce of a person who is afflicted with waswaas (insinuating thoughts from Shaytaan) is not valid because this is something that he has no control over, and it carries no weight in sharee’ah.

And Allaah is the Source of Strength.

He swore that if he did something, the first wife he married would be thrice-divorced

Assalam-u-alaikum,
A close friend of mine is about to marry and is in difficulty because of a statement he had made some time ago.  A few years ago when he was single, he swore that if he does a certain work which he hated, he gives three divorces on his first wife. He told me that he believes he did that work later on. At that time he was not engaged, nor did he know for sure who he was going to marry. Now its been a long time and he intends to marry a women, but isn't sure if his statement is going to make his marriage null or not. The brother realizes that he made a foolish statement and wants to know what to do. Jazakumullaho khair.
Wassalamu alaikum

Praise be to Allaah.

Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Jaami’ al-Saheeh:

Chapter: there is no divorce before marriage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! When you marry believing women, and then divorce them before you have sexual intercourse with them, no ‘iddah have you to count in respect of them. So give them a present, and set them free, i.e., divorce in a handsome manner.” [al-Ahzaab 33:49]. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Allaah made divorce after marriage.”

Among the evidence that there is no divorce before marriage (nikaah) are the following reports:

The hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘There is no vow for the son of Adam with regard to that which he does not possess; there is no setting free of (a slave) whom he does not possess; there is no divorce of (a wife) whom he does not possess.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a saheeh hasan hadeeth).

The hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him), who reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No divorce except of (the wife) whom you possess; no setting free except of (the slave) whom you possess, and no selling except of (the goods) that you possess.” (Reported by Abu Dawood; it is a hasan hadeeth).

The hadeeth of Ibn Makhramah from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said, “No divorce before marriage, and no setting free before taking possession.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah; it is a hasan hadeeth).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Abu ‘Ubayd reported that ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) was asked about a man who said, ‘If I marry so-and-so, then she is divorced (straightaway).’ ‘Ali said: ‘There is no divorce except after taking possession.’

It was also reported that ‘Ali said: ‘There is no divorce except after marriage even if he mentioned (the woman) by name.’

This is the opinion of ‘Aa’ishah, and also of al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq and their companions, and of Dawood and his companions, and of the majority of hadeeth scholars.

Among the evidence to support this opinion is the fact that when a man says, ‘If I marry so-and-so then she is divorced’, at the time when this suspended divorce is uttered, the woman is still ajnabiyyah (literally, ‘a stranger’, not his wife or mahram) to him, and the thing that comes later [i.e., marriage] takes precedence over whatever went before [i.e., the vow of divorce]. Nikaah (marriage) cannot be divorce. Similarly, if he said to a woman to whom he is not married yet, ‘If you enter the house you will be divorced,’ then she entered the house after she became his wife, then she is not divorced. There is no dispute (among the scholars).”
(Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/217)

And Allaah knows best.

When a Muslim signs papers divorcing his wife in front of a non-Muslim judge

i married a muslem man feb 15, 1997. i was married under islamic law and the laws of the state of virginia. i am christain.
i told him i wanted a divorce and he said he did not want it but he would give it to me if i wanted it.
i went to a lawyer and filed for divorce. he signed the waiver and sent it back to me (he lives in new york) federal express , he said he wanted it done fast. the paper was witnessed by a notery public.
i held the papers for one week. i called him and asked him if he wanted me to hold the paper, he said it did not matter.
i sent the paper back to my lawyer and it was sent to court.
the divorce was finalized nov. 2, 1999.
now he says that we are not divorced.
am i divorced from this man by islamic law?
he belongs to the shafghy school. he is suni.

Praise be to Allaah.

We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him:

Has a man agreed to divorce his wife or has he already divorced her, if what he said was: “I agree to divorce my wife and she is now to be considered divorced”?

He answered:

This is a divorce, and if she has completed her ‘iddah (waiting period of three menstrual cycles following divorce) then she is free to marry someone else. But if they have children together, I advise him to go back to her. He has the right to take her back so long as he issued just one divorce. And Allaah knows best.

Does the father have to pay for the children to travel to visit their divorced mother?

the children from a previous marriage were living with me.their mother moved 400 miles away and remarried. she claims that it is my duty to provide the children with transportation to visit her. is that true?

Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:

No, that is not correct, but if Allaah has made the husband rich and the wife’s position is average or less, then it is part of chivalry or manliness that he should pay for that – but it is not obligatory. And Allaah knows best.

She said to her husband “Divorce me”, and he said, “I agree”

I asked our shaykh, Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, the following question: She said to her husband “Divorce me”, and he said, “I agree”, or she said to her husband “I want a divorce”, and he said, “I agree”. Does divorce take place when these words are said?

He answered, may Allaah preserve him:

Praise be to Allaah. 

Divorce does not happen by saying this.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the enquiry remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any God Almighty All these response exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Monday 16 January 2012

Marriage of a convert: must he marry someone of the same race?

I would like to ask for your advice, I am a br. who prays believes in allah prays 5 times a day, fasts in ramadan  
and converted to islam over 5 years ago. I am looking to get married, however on meeting the sr. that I like, I am finding out that since her family is from another Race and because of this they will not accept me as her husband.
She is a practising muslimah from an Indian/asian/pakistani/bengali type of background, and it is typical of people of these background never to let their children (especially girls) to marry outside their own cultures even if the one proposing is a practising muslim man.
 Hence the mariage cannot take place on this basis alone. Since the majority of practising muslims in this country are from the indian subcontinent background,I have two questions
1- how does a relative new-comer such as my self get married?
2- Should reverts only marry reverts? Is there any basis for such cultural separation in islam? .

Praise be to Allaah.  

With regard to the first question, and the second, as soon as you entered Islam you became one of the Muslims, with the same rights and duties as they have. Based on that, then you may strive to guard your chastity by marrying any good and righteous woman, based on the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], “Look for the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) – whether she is also new in Islam (i.e., a convert) or not. What matters is that she should be righteous, as I mentioned. 

Then if you propose marriage to a righteous woman, and she or her family do not agree, then you must be patient and continue looking, whilst also continuing to pray that Allaah will make it easy for you to find a righteous woman who can help you to obey your Lord. 

Secondly, with regard to the discrimination that you mention, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]”

[al-Hujuraat 49:13] 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).”

(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69). 

According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh). 

The dung beetle is a black bug that rolls up excrement. 

Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah). Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times.

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866

See the answer to question no. 13993.

 We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to marry a woman who will help you to obey your Lord.

 And Allaah knows best.

How can she be sure of the Islam of a person whom she wants to marry?

Hello, my question is that I like a guy who is not muslim, but he is willing to change his religion. The problem is that he says he will do it, but if it dosn't come from the heart then it's not acceptable. I know that my parents will have a lot of friction with this guy because he is half black half white. I am afraid because I don't want to loose my parents even if teh guy changes his religion and becomes a true muslim how can I be sure that he will committ to it.

Praise be to Allaah.

You need to know, may Allaah help you to adhere firmly to Islam, that it is not permissible for a Muslim to love a kaafir, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “You (O Muhammad) will not find any people who believe in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), even though they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred (people).” [al-Mujaadilah 58:22]

As you say that you love him, you have to give up this love for the sake of Allaah; whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.

If this young man declares his Islam and you fear that he is not sincere in his Islam, remember what Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]

So he could be tested by asking him about Allaah, His religion, and His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and about the religion that he claims to have left.

You could also make sure of his Islam by watching to see if he persists in the obligatory acts of worship, such as prayer – especially if there is a mosque nearby – and fasting.

If a person – especially a new Muslim – is really serious about Islam, this will also manifest itself in other ways, such as whether he bothers to ask questions about the rulings on halaal and haraam.

He will also be concerned about changing the way he is, such as ridding himself of kaafir rituals and giving up things that are munkar and haraam that he used to do before he was Muslim.

Whether he is truly Muslim will also be seen from the way he hates the kufr that he used to follow before. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three things, whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: when Allaah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than anyone else; when he loves a person and loves him only for the sake of Allaah; and when he would hate to return to kufr after Allaah has saved him from it, as he would hate to be thrown into the fire.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 21).

We also want to be sure that there is no forbidden relationship, because a Muslim woman is not permitted to do this. She should not touch or be alone with a non-mahram man (one to whom she is not married or related by close blood ties). We ask Allaah to choose good for you and to decree it for you and to keep you safe from all evil. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Marriage to a woman of the People of the Book – do you advise that?

Can a muslim brother who is a salafi marry a christain as a wife?Some say a lot of conditions are attached,what are those conditions if any.

Praise be to Allaah.  

We have already stated in the answer to question no. 45645 the ruling on marrying a woman of the People of the Book (i.e., a Jewish or Christian woman), which is permissible according to the texts. There we have listed the conditions which must be met by that Jewish or Christian woman. However, we do not recommend marrying such women because of the harms to which that leads and because the conditions usually are not met by some of them. 

In the answers to questions no. 12283, 20227 and 44695 we have mentioned some of the negative effects of marrying women of the People of the Book in this day and age, which include those described by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) who said: 

But in this day and age there is the fear that those who marry them may be faced with great evil, because they may call them to follow their religion and that may lead to their children becoming Christianized. So the danger is great and in order to be on the safe side a believer should not marry such a woman. And there is no guarantee that such a woman will not fall into immorality, and that children who are not his may be attributed to him.  

End quote. 

Please see the answer to question 2527 for a list of conditions for marrying a woman of the People of the Book. 

It should be noted that whoever forsakes such a marriage, seeking that which is better for his religious commitment and the religion of his children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, for “whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than it,” as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. 

And Allaah knows best.

She got married in the mosque without her parents’ knowledge

Is secret nikkah is permissible? My friend went to mosque secretly from her parents and had a nikkah but there was only one witness for the nikkah. Is the nikkah valid. Please advise may god bless you.
Thank you.

Praise be to Allaah.

There has to be a walee (guardian) and two witnesses to any marriage, because of the hadeeth, “There is no marriage except with a walee” and “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” Therefore this marriage contract must be renewed, if her walee agrees to that, in the presence of two suitable witnesses. See Question #2127.

And Allaah knows best.

Non-Muslim Proposing to Muslim Woman

Assalam O Alaikum

I am a muslim. My sister has been proposed to by a man who is christian. She has agreed and they are now planning to get married. The man is willing to convert to Islam. I dont know what to do. Do I have any rights to resist this marriage? My parents are totally against this marriage and are deeply concerned, mainly due to the fact that the man is from a different culture and is not a relative.

Please advise me on what to do as I am very confused and time is running out very fast. I will await your reply anxiously.
Thankyou.


Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for your sister to marry this man unless two conditions are fulfilled:

He must enter Islam.

Your father must agree because he is her guardian who is responsible for arranging her marriage.

If either of these conditions are not fulfilled, then try to stop this evil from happening, whatever it takes.

And Allaah is the source of strength

Thursday 12 January 2012

The difference between “because of poverty” and “for fear of poverty?”

What is the difference between the two verses: 
“kill not your children because of poverty[min imlaaqin] — We provide sustenance for you and for them”
[al-An’aam 6:151] 
and  
“And kill not your children for fear of poverty [khashyata imlaaqin]. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin”
[al-Isra’ 17:31]?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Imlaaq means poverty. It was the custom of the people of the Jaahiliyyah to bury their daughters alive, either because of poverty, or for fear that they may fall into poverty in the future. Allaah forbade it in either case. The first verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“kill not your children because of poverty”
[al-An’aam 6:151] 
refers to the first reason, i.e., do not kill your children because you are poor, because Allaah has guaranteed to provide for you and for them. 
And the second verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you”
[al-Isra’ 17:31] 
refers to the second reason, i.e., do not kill your children for fear that you may become poor or that they may become poor after you are gone, for Allaah will provide for them and for you. 
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to the phrase “because of poverty [min imlaaqin]”, Ibn ‘Abbaas said: this means poverty, i.e., do not kill them because you are poor. It says in Soorat al-Isra’: “And kill not your children for fear of poverty”, i.e., do not kill them for fear of poverty in the future. Hence Allaah says here, “We shall provide for them as well as for you”. Here Allaah mentions their provision first, because of the concern for them, i.e., do not fear becoming poor because of providing for them, for that is what Allaah will do. But in the first verse, because poverty is already a factor, Allaah says, “We provide sustenance for you and for them”, because that is more important in that case. 
And Allaah knows best. 
End quote. 
And Allaah knows best.

Meaning of the verse in which Allaah, may He be exalted, says: “But forgive and overlook, till Allaah brings His Command”

What is the meaning of the phrase in the verse: “But forgive and overlook, till Allaah brings His Command”?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Many of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) wish that if they could turn you away as disbelievers after you have believed, out of envy from their ownselves, even after the truth (that Muhammad is Allaah’s Messenger) has become manifest unto them. But forgive and overlook, till Allaah brings His Command. Verily, Allaah is Able to do all things”
[al-Baqarah 2:109] 
In this verse Allaah states that many of the People of the Book wish that the Muslims would become disbelievers and apostates, out of hatred, resentment and envy, even though they know the truth and are certain of it. But despite that, Allaah commanded the believers to forgive and overlook. This was for many reasons, such as the desire that they might be guided and the truth might becomes clear to them, and because the Muslims were preoccupied with their war against Quraysh. Wisdom dictated that they should focus on confronting only one enemy. Allaah stated that this forgiveness and overlooking was for a certain length of time, until the command of Allaah came to the Muslims giving them permission to fight. 
The word ya’ti (comes) here means: comes, is issued, is revealed – i.e., until the command of Allaah comes down to them.
The command came from Allaah after that to fight them, as Ibn ‘Abbaas, Qataadah, al-Rabee’ and others said. 
Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (1/534): “forgive” means to let them off for bad treatment and the wrong things that they say about your religion, intending to divert you away from it and to make you apostatize after you have believed. And because of what they said to your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) previously: “ ‘Hear and let you (O Muhammad) hear nothing.’ And Raa‘ina [Raa‘ina: means in Arabic “Be careful, listen to us, and we listen to you”, whereas in Hebrew, it means “an insult”] with a twist of their tongues and as a mockery of the religion (Islam)” [al-Nisa’ 4:46]. Overlook any ignorance on their part until the command of Allaah comes, for He may command you as He wills. Then the decree came and His command came. He said to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and those who believed in him (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Fight against those who (1) believe not in Allaah, (2) nor in the Last Day, (3) nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allaah and His Messenger  (Muhammad), (4) and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e. Islam) among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued”
[al-Tawbah 9:29] 
Then he narrated that al-Rabee’ said concerning the words “But forgive and overlook, till Allaah brings His Command”: Forgive the people of the Book until Allaah issues His command concerning them, then after that Allaah issued His command and said: “Fight against those who (1) believe not in Allaah, (2) nor in the Last Day, … until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued”
[al-Tawbah 9:29] 
End quote. 
Ibn al-Jawzi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Zaad al-Maseer (1/132): With regard to the words of Allaah, “till Allaah brings His Command”, Ibn ‘Abbaas said: Allaah brought His command concerning al-Nadeer, that they be expelled, and concerning Qurayzah that they be killed and taken captive. End quote. 
And Allaah knows best.

Explanation of the verse “Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)] to Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen(mankind, jinn and all that exists)”

In the story of Sulaymaan and the Queen of Saba’ in Soorat al-Naml it says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“She said: ‘My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)] to Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen(mankind, jinn and all that exists).’”
[al-Naml 27:44] 
I understand that the meaning is that she had wronged herself by disbelieving and that she submitted (became Muslim) after the truth became clear to her. But the wording of the verse, and the fact that there is no symbol for a pause or full stop after the word nafsi (myself) could make one imagine that the meaning is the opposite, that she wronged herself by submitting – Allaah forbid. Is there any explanation?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah says in Soorat al-Naml (interpretation of the meaning): 
“It was said to her: ‘Enter As‑Sarh’ (a glass surface with water underneath it or a palace): but when she saw it, she thought it was a pool, and she (tucked up her clothes) uncovering her legs. Sulaymaan (Solomon) said: ‘Verily, it is a Sarh (a glass surface with water underneath it or a palace).’ She said: ‘My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)] to Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen(mankind, jinn and all that exists)’”
[al-Naml 27:44] 
In this verse Allaah tells us of the great surprise that Sulaymaan (peace be upon him) had prepared for the Queen of Saba’, which was a palace of glass, the floor of which was above the water, and the Queen stood astonished before these wonders, the like of which no human could produce, and she turned to Allaah and spoke to Him. She acknowledged that she had wronged herself by previously worshipping others, and she declared that she was submitting, with Sulaymaan, to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. 
This is what is understood from the context of the story and it is also what is implied by the rules of the Arabic language. 
The phrase zalamtu nafsi (I have wronged myself) is a verbal clause which is the predicate of the word Inni (Verily, I). 
This is followed by the conjunction wa (and) which connects one phrase to another, and she says, Wa aslamtu ma’a Sulaymaan (and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)]) . 
See I’raab al-Qur’aan wa Bayaanuhu by Muhiy al-Deen Darweesh (7/216) and al-Jadwal fi I’raab al-Qur’aan by Mahmoud Saafi (9/415). 
What is meant is: I submit with Sulaymaan to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. 
This is the correct meaning, because the grammarians say that the conjunction only limits repetition in a sentence.  
Ibn ‘Aqeel says in Sharh Alfiyat Ibn Maalik (2/208): 
The conjunction implies repetition without needing to repeat everything. End quote. 
So instead of saying ja’a Zayd wa ja’a ‘Amr (Zayd came and ‘Amr came) you can shorten it by saying: Ja’a Zayd wa ‘Amr (Zayd and ‘Amr came). 
Similarly, sentence or phrases may be joined in like manner: 
Instead of saying: Verily Allaah knows what you are doing and Allaah will bring you to account for it, you can shorten it and say: Allaah knows what you are doing and will bring you to account for it. 
The verse must be understood on this basis. So what the verse means is: 
I have wronged myself, and I submit with Sulaymaan to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. 
From a linguistic point of view, it is not necessarily that the two sentences joined together have the meaning. 
Professor ‘Abbaas Hasan says in al-Nahw al-Waafi (3/557): 
If the word that comes after the conjunction wa is not singular, it may mean that both phrases refer to the same action, such as nabata al-ward wa nabata al-qasab (the flowers grew and the reeds grew), or it may not, such as hadarat al-tayyaarah wa lam tahdar al-sayyaarah (the plane came but the car did not come). End quote. 
As Allaah mentioned the words of the Queen of Saba’ after the conjunction wa – “(and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)]” – it is not permissible to understand this as an elaboration of the words that came before the conjunction, from a purely linguistic point of view. How can that be so, when the two meanings are clearly opposites? 
The context demonstrates that the queen acknowledged that she had wronged herself when she worshipped the sun instead of Allaah, and she repented from that shirk and submitted and worshipped Allaah alone, the Lord of the Worlds. 
Thus the meaning is correct, and the misunderstanding of the verse asked about here is dispelled. 
The misunderstanding – as far as grammatical rules are concerned – may have been valid if the wording had been: 
“I have wronged myself: I submitted with Sulaymaan” with no conjunction, if the second phrase had been an apposition of the first phrase, as in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): 
“and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-69] 
The doubling of the torment is an explanation of the punishment incurred by the one who commits major sin. 
The misunderstanding – as far as grammatical rules are concerned – may also have been valid if the conjunction had been fa, and she had said “Inni zalamtu nafsi fa aslamtu ma’a Sulaymaan (Verily, I have wronged myself, and so I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)])” because the conjunction fa is often used to indicate a sequence, i.e., it points to the reason, such as saying rama al-sayyaad al-taa’ir fa qatalahu (the hunter shot the bird and (so) he killed it). 
See al-Nahw al-Waafi (3/574) 
But the wording of the Qur’aan is quite clear:  
“She said: ‘My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit [in Islam, together with Sulaymaan (Solomon)] to Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen(mankind, jinn and all that exists)’”
[al-Naml 27:44] 
So the questioner’s confusion is not valid and does not affect the correct meaning and the principles of Arabic grammar. 
And Allaah knows best.

How did Allaah open the chest of His noble Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings

How did Allah the exalted dissect the messenger’s chest (PBUH), when He the exalted says: 
 “Have We not expanded thee thy breast?” 
Is it true that it was by Gabriel’s hands during the messenger’s life?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, honoured His Prophets and Messengers with immense blessings, first and foremost among which, and the highest in status, was the blessing of Prophethood, as He chose them to be close to Him and to bestow His mercy upon them. 
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“but Allaah chooses of His Messengers whom He wills”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:179] 
“And also some of their fathers and their progeny and their brethren, We chose them, and We guided them to the Straight Path”
[al-An’aam 6:87] 
Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, chose His Prophet and Close Friend Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for more honour and bestowed a high status upon him, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  
“Had not the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy been upon you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), a party of them would certainly have made a decision to mislead you, but (in fact) they mislead none except their own selves, and no harm can they do to you in the least. Allaah has sent down to you the book (the Qur’aan), and Al‑Hikmah (Islamic laws, knowledge of legal and illegal things, i.e. the Prophet’s Sunnah — legal ways), and taught you that which you knew not. And Ever Great is the Grace of Allaah unto you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)”
[al-Nisa’ 4:113] 
As part of this Grace, Allaah opened the chest of His Noble Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and He referred to this great blessing in a soorah of the Qur’aan that will be recited until the Day of Resurrection. It is called Soorat al-Sharh. 
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Have We not opened your breast for you ((O Muhammad?”
[al-Sharh 94:1] 
The opening of the chest of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) points to a number of important meanings: 
1 – Allaah opened his heart to Islam as a religion and law, which is the greatest thing to which the heart may be opened. This is the interpretation of Ibn ‘Abbaas, as reported by al-Bukhaari in a mu’allaq report in his Saheeh (Kitaab al-Tafseer/Baab Soorat al-Sharh, p. 982). 
2 – Allaah opened the chest of His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in order to fill it (his heart) with wisdom, knowledge and faith, as it was interpreted by al-Hasan al-Basri. The scholars mentioned in their commentaries on this incident of the opening of the Prophet’s chest, which happened twice during his life. 
The first occurred when he was small and living among Banu Sa’d. 
It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that that Jibreel came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he was playing with the other boys. He took hold of him and threw him to the ground, then he opened his chest and took out his heart, from which he took a clot of blood and said: “This was the Shaytaan’s share of you.” Then he washed it in a vessel of gold that was filled with Zamzam. Then he put it back together and returned it to its place. The boys went running to his mother – meaning his nurse – and said: Muhammad has been killed! They went to him and his colour had changed. Anas said: I used to see the mark of that stitching on his chest.
Narrated by Muslim (162). 
The second occurred on the night of the Isra’. 
Abu Dharr used to narrate that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The roof of my house was opened when I was in Makkah, and Jibreel (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came down and split open my chest, then he washed it with Zamzam water. Then he brought a golden basin filled with wisdom and faith and emptied it into my chest. Then he sealed it…” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (349) and Muslim (163). 
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Fath al-Baari (7/204): 
Some of them denied that his chest was opened on the night of the Isra’, and said that this only happened when he was small and living among Banu Sa’d. But that cannot be denied because there are many reports about it. … All that has been narrated about his chest being opened, his heart being taken out and other extraordinary events must be accepted without objection or trying to interpret it other than what it appears to mean, because Allaah si Able to do all that and none of that is impossible. Al-Qurtubi said in al-Mufhim: No attention should be paid to denials of the opening of his chest on the night of the Isra’, because the narrators are trustworthy and well known. End quote. 
The incident of his chest being opened is also mentioned in some reports at other times, at the age of ten, and when his mission began, but these are weak reports. See: al-Seerah al-Nabawiyyah al-Saheehah (1/103). 
Ibn Katheer said in Tafseer al-Qur’aan il-‘Azeem (4/677): 
Allaah says “Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad)?” meaning, did We not open your heart for you, i.e., We illuminated it etc. This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And whomsoever Allaah wills to guide, He opens his heart to Islam.” [al-An’aam 6:125]. 
And it was said that what is meant by the verse “Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad)?”  is the opening of his chest on the night of the Isra’, but there is no contradiction because the opening of his chest includes what was done on the night of the Isra’ as well as the metaphorical meaning of opening his heart. And Allaah knows best. End quote. 
3 – It says in Rooh al-Ma’aani (30/166): 
It was said that what is meant is: Did We not relieve your distress and worry by showing you the reality of things and the insignificance of this world, so that enabled you to bear hardship by mans of turning to Allaah with du’aa’.  
It was narrated from the majority that what is meant is:  Did We not bestow upon him wisdom and enable him to receive that which was revealed to him after it was difficult for him? 
4 – Ibn ‘Ashoor said in al-Tahreer wa’l-Tanweer (1/4850): 
Opening his breast is a metaphor for the blessings that were bestowed upon him and enabling him to attain all levels of perfection, and informing him that Allaah is pleased with him, and glad tidings of the victory that the religion would attain. End quote. 
See: Subul al-Huda wa’l-Rashaad (2/59). 
5 – Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Tafseer Soorat al-Sharh (p.1): 
This opening is metaphorical, not physical. The opening of the heart may be done so that it is able to receive the decree of Allaah of both types, the shar’i decrees of Allaah, which means religion, and the decree of Allaah which has to do with the calamities that may befall man. End quote.  
And Allaah knows best.