Concealed and getting remarried to the same person in front of parents?
Muslim girl for the past 10 years. I told my parents about my likeness towards her and
wanted them to ask for her hand in her marriage. They completely refused since she had a
different family back ground. For almost 8 years I tried to convince my parents for the
girl I liked but they never seemed to agree. I always could never decide between my
parents and the person I loved. Finally nine months ago I got married to her with her
parents consent but without my parents knowledge. They still do not know about my
marriage, but recently they suddenly had a change of hearts for my wife. They have
developed the liking toward her not knowing that she is my wife. They want us to get
married now not knowing that we are married. I want to tell them about my marriage but my
father is a heart patient and I am not sure how he would take it after I break the news.
I wanted to know if it is valid that I still keep my first marriage hidden from my parents
and just get remarried to my wife. Please Comment.
May Allah guides us All to the right path.
Praise be to Allaah.
We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn
One of the Sunnahs with regard to marriage is that it should be
announced publicly, with beating on the daff or hand-drum (i.e., celebrations), so
as to distinguish it from fornication, which usually happens in secret. If the marriage
contract has been drawn up in accordance with all the requisite conditions, then it is
valid even if the family does not accept it. The issue of kafaa’ah or
compatibility has to do with religious commitment, as Allaah has explained in His Book. A
Muslim man can marry a Muslim woman, or a woman of the People of the Book (Jews and
Christians) on the condition that she is chaste, but he is not permitted to marry a
mushrikah (polytheist woman) or a zaaniyah (woman who commits adultery or fornication). He
should, however, try to find a woman who is strongly committed to Islam. A Muslim woman is
not permitted to marry anyone except a Muslim man. A man of the People of the Book does
not qualify in terms of compatibility with her, and she should look for someone who is
known among the Muslims to be committed to Islam and of good character.
With regard to the situation described in the question, we may note the
The husband does not have to divorce his wife if his father asks him to
The father’s rights are great indeed, and good treatment of one's
family is a duty. If your father is suffering from heart disease, it is better if he does
not know about this marriage. It is unlikely that his attitude has changed because it is
based on the class/caste system and it is not easy for seniors to change their beliefs.
You have to make sure you understand your family’s current attitude
and to what extent they are prepared to accept your marriage to this woman. Perhaps they
have heard that she has got married, and they think that she has married someone else, so
they want to make you feel better (by saying they would accept her because she now seems
to be safely out of the picture). Or perhaps they have heard that she has got married to
you and they want to hear about it from you. Once you are sure that they have changed
their attitude for real, there is nothing to stop you asking for permission from them and
from your father to get married. If they give you permission, then this is what you want;
if they do not, then just stay as you are now, so that no bad consequences will come to
them as a result of them knowing about your marriage.
As far as repeating your marriage contract is concerned, we put this
question to the Mufti Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, who
replied with the conclusion that if the first contract met all the requisite conditions,
and there are no impediments, then it is a valid contract. It should not be repeated lest
that open the way to playing about with it. You should strive to please your family in
every way you can and tell them that the matter has been concluded in an appropriate
fashion. If there is genuine cause to fear for your father’s life, then it could be
said that repeating the contract could be done on the grounds of necessity. And Allaah