My husband sent some brand new clothes to his brother so that they could look at the latest womens designs for business in manufacturing them in china but he said that I could exchange them for clothes that I needed after his brother had looked at them, Later he told his brother to give the clothes to his sister instead of sending them back and he knows that I have not got any decent clothes at the moment to wear as most of my clothes have become torn and my weight did not go down after the recent birth of our third child. Was he right to spend a lot of money on these clothes when we did not have a lot of money and then give them to his sister instead of his wife, We are both in need butis it fare that she came before me and our 3 children who would benefit from some new clothes.
Praise be to Allaah.
If the matter is as
desribed, then your husband should fulfil his promise to you and get you
some new clothes to replace these clothes.
You should also look for
excuses for what he did. Perhaps he felt too shy to ask for them to be
returned, or his sister saw them and wanted them, or other excuses.
The basic principle is that
married life should be based on love and compassion, and tolerance and
forgiveness. There is no perfect husband or perfect wife, and both of them
may make mistakes. Rather life becomes good when you overlook mistakes,
ignore minor issues and make excuses for one another.
Your husband will be
rewarded, in sha Allaah, for upholding the ties of kinship and you will also
be rewarded if you are patient and seek reward, and love good for others as
you would love it for yourself.
It is hoped that this one
who gave charity and did good will be honoured, rewarded and blessed by
Allaah in his wealth, and this will all bring goodness and benefit to you
too in sha Allaah.
We advise you to be patient
and seek reward, and to be gentle in asking for what you need, and do not
nag your husband for it. We also advise him to treat you and his children
kindly, and to give you what you need; he should remember that what he
spends on food, drink and clothing for you will bring him reward from
Allaah, if he seeks reward for that with Him, as the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a Muslim spends on his family,
seeking reward for that with Allaah, then it will an act of charity on his
part.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5351) and Muslim (1002).
And he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A dinar that you spend for the sake
of Allaah, a dinar that you spend to free a slave, a dinar that you give in
charity to a needy person and a dinar that you spend on your family – the
greatest of them in reward is the one that you spend on your family.”
Narrated by Muslim (995).
This hadeeth is something
that should encourage the husband to spend on his wife and children, because
spending on them brings a greater reward than spending on jihad for the sake
of Allaah and on the poor.
We ask Allaah to set your
affairs straight and to bless you in your wealth and increase your
And Allaah knows best.